What if anxiety isn’t a medical problem to be managed, but a symptom of something else? Like a warning light on a car to show you that something in life isn’t working for you and needs addressing?
What if it could be relieved, not with medicine or learning tools to keep it in check, but by connecting to your mind and body to know what you need and how to meet your needs? To have a choice rather than to feel ruled by it.
Most of the people I work with struggle with anxiety, and make progress and get relief without spending much time at all focusing on the anxiety!
Because anxiety isn’t the problem.
In a way it’s a gift – it alerts us to focus on ourselves and what we need. It shows us that we need support.
An anxious mind worries about what could go wrong and makes plans just in case.
What if…
What if…
The solution isn’t to assess the plans for feasibility, but to shift to a place where plans are no longer needed.
When we feel safe on the inside, we trust that we can handle anything that happens to us. Then anxiety starts to dissipate – we don’t need it anymore.
“I know I will be OK”
“I’ve handled hard things before”
“It will work out”
“This is hard but I know it will pass”
These are the sorts of things we say to ourselves to help us handle things when we feel secure. We know everything will be OK even when it isn’t.
Planning solutions to what could go wrong doesn’t give us security. When we feel insecure on the inside, then anxiety runs the show.
It’s exhausting.
It is so often interlinked with pleasing others, putting ourselves last, not knowing what we want, how to express how we are feeling or to ask for what we need.
It often feels like our 5-10 year old self is running the show, and so life feels utterly overwhelming. Life can feel hard as an adult, but when a younger part of us is trying to help us, then it feels like we’re failing at everything.
The work isn’t about managing anxiety or learning to live with it better. The work is about learning to be the safe place we need so that we can find calm and safety within ourselves whenever we find ourselves not feeling OK.
The work is learning to trust ourselves and our ability to handle whatever could happen to us.
Are you ready to feel safe and secure?